there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
