i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
