Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Two words: blizzard sex
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
