Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wish you could order shots online.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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