You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
