Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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