I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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