Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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