We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You dont lie about slip and slides
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
