I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
