There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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