At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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