all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize