The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
