Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize