Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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