Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
