I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
