RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need a beard to bite.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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