so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
