did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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