I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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