she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
