I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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