yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
