My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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