i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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