Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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