you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
