guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
