Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
