i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
