Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
