this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize