I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
