Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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