Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
