piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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