I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my shit smells like andre
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
