Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
