I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
