Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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