So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
