It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
