It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
