Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
