he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
