No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
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