It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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