I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
