She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
