They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I have post one night stand depression
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize