uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
