If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
